I have always been someone who takes risks. Not necessarily the kind of risks that people would describe as brave. Sometimes, they probably look completely unreasonable from the outside.
But I think there are moments in life when you have to make a decision based on what you know you can no longer continue living with.
This is not me advising anyone to take risks. I am not saying that everyone should suddenly make a big decision without thinking about the consequences. I am simply sharing a risk I took that ended up changing my life in a way I did not expect.
When I first started my career, I moved in with two other girls. At first, I thought it would be fine, but eventually, the living situation became extremely toxic for me. I was no longer at peace. It got to a point where I would sometimes leave the house just to cry outside because I could not deal with how I was feeling.
At the same time, I was saving money for a phone.
I had been using my Samsung phone for about five years, and I was really looking forward to getting an iPhone 12 Pro Max. Not a brand new one, obviously. I was planning to get a UK used phone because that was what I could afford.
I was saving every penny I could. I am not someone who eats a lot, so I knew how to cut down on certain things and save more. Every bit of money I had was going towards this phone.
Then my phone fell and broke.
And if you know anything about Samsung phones and screens, you probably already know that the story did not end with just replacing the screen.
I took it to an engineer to fix it, and somehow, the phone became worse. The sound stopped working, things started going wrong, and eventually, I just accepted that I no longer had a proper phone.
I bought a small Nokia phone for about ₦15,000 and started using my laptop for WhatsApp and social media. It was not ideal, but I managed.
The reason I did not immediately buy another phone was that the money I had been saving for the iPhone was not complete yet.
And then I made a decision.
I decided to move out.
The funny thing is that I did not move far away. The building where I lived was a sort of service apartment or hostel arrangement, and I reached out to the manager to ask if there was any available space.
The place was affordable, so rooms did not become available often. I kept praying and hoping that someone would move out.
About three weeks later, the manager called me. He asked if I had the money because someone else was interested in the space.
I said yes.
I used the money I had been saving for my phone and moved into the room.
Some people questioned whether I would be able to keep paying the rent. And honestly, I understood why they asked. From the outside, the decision did look risky. I had given up the money I was saving for a phone and committed myself to a rent that I now had to pay alone.
But there were also people who seemed to be waiting for the day I would not be able to pay.
Maybe they expected me to eventually leave the space. Maybe they thought I had made a decision I could not sustain. I cannot say for certain what was in anyone's heart, but sometimes you can feel when people are not hoping for you to succeed.
And perhaps that made me even more determined.
I did not want to prove anything to them. I just wanted to prove to myself that I had not made the wrong decision by choosing my peace.
And by the grace of God, I kept paying.
I paid for three months and used the remaining money to make the space comfortable. And when I say comfortable, I do not mean that I went all out to furnish it. I bought pallets to put under my mattress, painted the room, and did some electrical work.
But I was at peace.
And at that point, I told myself that if being at peace meant not having a phone, then I was willing to live with that.
I stopped saving for the phone. I started saving for my next rent instead. I did not want to be chased out of the space.
I remember the rent was around ₦75,000 per month when I moved in. Then, when it was time to renew, the rent increased to ₦90,000.
I remember sitting down and thinking, "Is this the devil trying to do something?"
Because ₦75,000 was already a lot for me. Now it had increased to ₦90,000.
I did not cry. I did not even tell my mum because I already knew she would probably say, "Then leave the place."
But I had already made my decision.
Every penny that came my way went towards keeping that space. I was not saving for a phone anymore. I was saving for my peace.
And somehow, I managed to keep paying.
I stayed there for almost a year before eventually moving into a much better space. Much, much better.
Today, I live in a space that is probably 4 or five times better than where I started.
Sometimes I look back and think about the decision I made. I had a choice. I could have continued saving for the phone I wanted while remaining in a living situation that was affecting my peace of mind. Or I could use that money to create a space where I could breathe.
I chose the second option.
And I am glad I did.
I eventually got another phone, but that story is for another day.
What I am trying to say is that sometimes, the risks you take may not make sense to other people. They may look at your decision and think you are being unreasonable. They may ask you how you plan to survive. And sometimes, they may even have a point.
But you also know what you are experiencing. You know what you can no longer tolerate. You know what your peace is worth to you.
I am not saying that everyone should quit their job, leave their home, spend all their savings, or make a major decision without thinking things through. Not every risk will work out the way mine did.
But I am glad I took that risk.
Because I chose peace before I had the money to comfortably afford it. And somehow, I kept finding a way to maintain it.
I think sometimes personal growth looks like taking a risk that your old self would never have taken.
For me, it meant giving up the phone I had been saving for and choosing a space of my own instead.
And today, I look around at where I am now and realise that it was worth it.
Maybe the risk will not work for everyone.
But this one worked for me.
And I am glad I took it.